But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23a [NET]
“Any mystery, by definition, is pregnant with many levels of unfolding and realisation.
That is especially true of the ‘tree of life’ that is contemplative awareness.”
Richard Rohr OFM, 2009
The quotes above, drawn from the Christian contemplative tradition, whet my appetite for apprehending, and tasting, the fruits of Yggdrasil. Could it be that the fruits epitomise the qualities of the ensouled individuality unveiled on the odyssey with wholeness? Could it be that wholeness of selfhood – the integrated body, heart and mind, led and transformed by Spirit – arises from contemplative awareness? The postulate is invitational, something worth considering for setting up Yggdrasil Retreat Centre.
If the above is accurate in the sense of Occam’s razor, then the best harvest is yielded when we engage in a retreat where contemplation is both the destination and the way to reach it. With this in mind, and heart, my understanding is that a contemplative retreat is a vision quest: a somewhat reckless and unrestrained leap into the unknown. Contemplation is not a private therapeutic place meant to provide solace and regeneration, more a desert experience known to amplify the gravitational pull towards higher levels of awareness and orders of reality.
Before we delve into the features of a contemplative retreat, I want to linger a moment on the last of the nine fruits of the Spirit: self-control. This is not a happy translation of the original Greek used by Saint Paul to write his letters. Self-control sounds like the preferred choice of the strategic mind and the default setting of the egoic operating system. When delicately uncovering the intricacies of self-reflective awareness, self-control can be a good orientation so that we learn to let go of our desire for power and control and let be reality, just as it is. Unfortunately self-control doesn’t sit well with contemplative awareness. Therefore, I suggest turning instead towards conversant terms from the Buddhist tradition such as equanimity and emotional sobriety.
So, off we go, to inspect the attributes of contemplative practices. Our first stop will be to reflect on the nature of contemplative awareness. Then, we can imagine a retreat centre that is both a crucible and a sanctuary, a combustion chamber and the refiner’s fire. Finally, I’ll close up with a few words on spiritual companionship, the form of accompaniment that respects the principles of contemplation.
Let’s first look at the roots of the word ‘contemplation’: always a good place to start the quest. To contemplate, with the prefix con(with), literally means to bring together, as one, two templates, the inner and the outer template representing the configurations of our inner and outer worlds. By extension, we can intuit that this implies bringing together the visible and the invisible, the material and the subtle or, in mystical and metaphysical terms, to unite the icon with its archetype. Wisdom teachers of all traditions, as they approach the confines of ultimate reality, recognise that, when the human form is aligned with its archetype in origin, they experience pure embrace in the presence of the Absolute: a sense of wholeness and oneness. Contemplative practices flowing from in-depth meditation reorient us towards restored alignment, the subjective experience of wholeness of selfhood, begetting ensouled individuality.
A life of contemplation is an ongoing invitation to commit to practices of silence, stillness and solitude and, from the place reached through practices drawing on objectless awareness, to gaze into the world looking back at us, reflecting back to us something precious and unique regarding our inner landscape. We pay attention with open mind, open heart and open will. We listen to all the invitations beckoning us to restored alignment. We observe the inner and outer worlds evolving and revolving until they lock into each other as one, revealing our living presence in the world, our light shining bright in the temple of one love. As the poet and essayist once said, “Contemplation is a harvest of presence”.
A retreat which has contemplation both as a destination and a vessel to reach the shimmering horizon is an essential feature of an odyssey with wholeness. It will ferry us through the pathways spiralling towards the centre of the pattern of our lives. It will gently usher us into the empty space of luminous presence so that we may recognise the radiant beauty and goodness of our own unique centre illumined by centredness of body, purity of heart and clarity of mind. It will faithfully convey us through the waveforms of letting go, letting be, letting come and setting free that are the hallmarks of the path of the sage or the saints. It will shape the contemplative discipline that blossoms through the breath and releases us into the powerful gravitational field of transformation.
Contemplative awareness is, therefore, what awaits us on the other side of self-reflective awareness, when we dare to pierce the veil that keeps us tethered to object-focused awareness and the cataphatic practices that maintain the ontological distinction between object and subject. Contemplative awareness is the harvest of apophatic practices taking us beyond our habitual framing of reality and into unitive consciousness where all dualities dissolve in oneness as we fall apart.
Contemplative awareness is the dimension where we encounter reality, face-to-face, through the eye of the heart, where we fall upwards into wholeness of selfhood as we unveil the essence of self. To get there we dismantle the eye of the strategic mind attempting to create reality in its own image from the dimension of egoic awareness, the sounding board of the ‘I’. Along the journey we tenderly observe and embrace, as part of the human condition, how determined the strategic mind is to maintain, at all costs, the structures of personhood that operate at that level.
Yggdrasil Retreat Centre stands on the sacred land of Bornholm nourished by the wisdom tradition upheld in a powerful constellation of fifteen medieval churches set in the figure of a seven-pointed star. The centre piece of this constellation is the round church of Østerlars, the parish church visible from the property, a historical landmark of Denmark.
From the beginning of my adventures on Bornholm, I have often told the story of the house, and the nearby round church, choosing me to settle down here and put out my roots, rather than the other way round with me deciding where I wanted to land. I was chosen. But chosen to do what exactly? It has taken a first cycle of seven years for the vision to slowly emerge and morph from a guest lodge, to a retreat centre and onwards to a community house, from an educational centre to a life of contemplation.
Those seven years have yielded an abundant crop of lessons: I have learnt to listen to the land and allow it to teach me; I have devotedly approached the mystery school of the Templars who, according to my understanding, founded an educational hub on Bornholm able to convey the wilful pilgrim to higher orders of consciousness. My own experiences of walking the pathways of selfhood in the woods and along the coastlines of Bornholm have been persuasive in understanding the pleats and folds of consciousness unfolding unto itself and the human trajectory along the circuitous pathways. And, to sum it up, this is what I have learnt about the contemplative life of Bornholm.
When we surrender to Yggdrasil, the Tree of Life, and take shelter within its configuration, that is, contemplative awareness, we are first invited to encounter the land of Bornholm in an unfiltered way. We get down on our knees, put our hands into the soil and commit to love’s labour through our acts of self-emptying. The land of Bornholm takes no prisoners and asks all of us. It is a place of velocity and intensity, a combustion chamber fostered by thousands of years of spirituality both Norse and Christian. Here, like Prospero exiled on an island, we can’t run away from who we are, nor avoid the next threshold of understanding we are being rushed towards, despite all our attempts to slow down. So, yes, we will fall apart, or rather the egoic structures we have outgrown will be shed, sometimes dramatically, and we will be encouraged to let go of the ‘rough magic’ that brought us to these shores.
An encounter with reality, on its terms, often equates a life-shattering experience which will, and should, leave us feeling naked and raw. Fortunately, the three components assembled, that is, the land of Bornholm, the living wisdom tradition and the house of Yggdrasil, create a container able to hold us as we commit to these powerful transformative circumstances. Together they form a portal able to transmute obsessive and compulsive thoughts, unexamined desires and immobilised patterns of co-dependency, even when the outer conditions suggest that we need to go ‘cold turkey’ to step out of outgrown habits because there is no buffer zone when we crash into absolute reality.
Humans have devised a rich lexicon for describing the shattering of the mind that occurs at the heart of the subjective experience of the Absolute, alternating between the dark nights of the self and existential crisis. In the same spirit, humans have hewed a prolific repertoire of practices for staying steadfast on the rim of intelligibility, moving through the experience and coming out on the other side transformed and whole. There is no doubt that contemplative retreats, grounded in objectless awareness, invite us to walk a very fine line where the distinctions between spiritual awakenings and mental health breakdowns become blurry and tenuous. Without a trustworthy lifeline we could easily inflict upon ourselves self-limiting beliefs and disparaging judgements hurling us back into the labyrinth of our mind.
For these reasons, I always remind myself to welcome, and honour, my shattered mind, to consider the experience as an initiation, a gateway beckoning me onwards. I remind myself that it is not who I am in wholeness of selfhood that vanishes or is destroyed, but rather the obsolete egoic operating system and, paradoxically, in that disappearance more of who I am is revealed. In the past years under the guidance and protection of Yggdrasil, I have learnt that when I consent to move through the body of pain, and not hold back, I will discover joy beneath the suffering, compassion and true love beyond the grief and losses. This is what it means to die to self so as to awaken to Self, to cruise the waves of consciousness ferrying us from the personal to the transpersonal and to be humbled by the cruciform nature of the human experience where reality meets relationality and the sacred flame of the refiner’s fire.
Contemplative retreats enable us to fully engage with the second half of the odyssey with wholeness and to coast the waves of imaginal purification and spiritual growth. They encourage the transition from psychological integration to spiritual direction and, having welcomed and tenderly held the shattered mind, they provide invaluable insights imbued with beauty and love to help us rebuild ourselves.
The second half of the odyssey escorts us towards the wisdom path transpiring from the cruciform nature of reality at the confluence of the vertical and horizontal axes. The vertical axis tutors cognitive development and emancipation so as to releases us into the next dispensation of our life. The horizontal axis calls us to relatedness and intimate relationships, to commit to a contemplative intimacy with the unknown where mature mindfulness and grounded sensitivity grow, where intellectual maturity and human flourishing thrive, where contemplative awareness and restored alignment dwell.
Beyond the initial steps to align body, heart and will, the wisdom path invites us to bring into balance intelligence and compassion. Too much power (intelligence) and not enough compassion will keep us endlessly roaming in the self-centred labyrinth of our mind protecting our compulsive attachments and their reckless and abusive actions. Too much compassion with little intellectual maturity will send us drifting in realms of sentimentalism. Therefore, in order to remain steadfast and unwavering on the wisdom path, we learn to open our hearts to the quiet procession of spiritual companions, also walking the stormy edge of the intense evolutionary thrust, and the grace of being called to be transformed and released, anew, into world.
The purpose of an odyssey founded on self-knowledge, the classical Greek ‘know yourself’ axiom (vertical axis), is to grow in inner freedom and to move through the false dichotomies of the mind-body split. But self-knowledge is also about abolishing the separation between I and the other (horizontal axis).
Spiritual growth, the last wave of the odyssey, is stretched between two pillars: contemplation and spiritual companionship. Contemplation is the ongoing invitation to go deeper within and devote oneself to spiritual maturity and the evolution of freedom in action meandering through cycles of order, disorder and reorder. Spiritual companionship returns us, again and again, to our deepest longing, even, and especially when, we lack words to name our undying yearning. But more crucially, spiritual companionship sustains us in our ability to absorb, and be transformed, by our direct encounters with reality and our subjective experiences of the Absolute. Contemplation and spiritual companionship go together, side by side, in support of a spiritual life where we walk and operate in growing freedom by self-emptying ourselves and freeing ourselves from all forms of co-dependency.
A contemplative retreat at Yggdrasil Retreat Centre is not a structured programme with set dates, a theme running through the retreat, a team of busy carers and wise facilitators and the possibility to meet other contemplatives in the making. Befitting a desert experience, it is a solitary voyage where one might meet other solitary fellow-travellers. But, more than that, it is an invitation to join me in a life of contemplation where we wonder at the generosity flowing from radical simplification.
The minimum stay for a contemplative retreat is two weeks, preferably a month, so as to land in the energy field of Bornholm and be transformed by the experience. Retreats take place outside the peak tourist season which runs from mid-June to mid-September. The dark nights of late autumn and winter are conducive to vision quests and contemplative retreats, particularly when supplemented by the seasonal celebrations of endings and beginnings such as Halloween, All Saints and All Souls, the winter solstice, advent and Yuletide, or the feast of Saint Lucia kicking off the 12 Holy Nights.
Retreatants are expected to be autonomous, well-versed in self-care and able to tend to their needs. They have their own room, one of the two bigger rooms in the guest lodge, and organise their days around their practices of silence, stillness and solitude. Of course, socialising is not excluded as long as contemplative practices take precedence.
There are no teachings, no guided practices, nor philosophical debates, however tempting that might be, precisely because they are tempting. They would only hurl us back into our cataphatic practices parsing the ontological distinctions between object and subject, naming all the categories that keep us entangled in the web of self-reflective awareness, unable to get out of the labyrinth of the mind, pierce the veil and fall upwards into contemplative awareness and nondual perception. In the same spirit, we pay attention to the gender biases that startlingly break into conversational leadership with phenomena such as ‘mansplaining’ or ‘mankeeping’ when we enter the territories of feelings and unexamined desires. We also contemplate the distortions of the raw elemental forces ferrying the dynamics of domination and power-wielding over mutuality and solidarity. Therefore, we surrender to conversations of little words seeking the one-liner or the koan that will disrupt our mind, open our heart and lead us into emptiness. For these reasons, we refrain from excessive sharing that would only jeopardise emotional sobriety.
Although there are no specific activities associated with the retreat, retreatants are encouraged to participate in community life in ways that support their contemplative practices, to practice an art form and enjoy the surrounding nature. Community life focuses on caring for the property with home care, maintenance work and garden work, and preparing meals. We eat together at least twice a week and this can be done in silence. We can also decide on regular meeting times for sitting in the meditation circle, again with no obligation of sharing afterwards or committing to regular attendance.
Spiritual companionship, if requested, is based on the materials of the odyssey with wholeness. There is no obligation to have read the books, nor to book a session. This should only be done if it supports the shift from cataphatic to apophatic practices and when seeking additional guidance on contemplative awareness.
Retreatants are invited to join the quiet procession of spiritual companions. We stand and walk, hand in hand, as we grow in freedom and inner spaciousness, compassion and joy, to become bearers of the fruits of the tree of life that is contemplative awareness.
Because of the likelihood of creatively collapsing in the intensity of the combustion chamber and then needing to nurture the shattered mind, it is essential to be open and willing to discuss mental health issues. Also, I kindly ask retreatants to provide relevant information regarding their support network and, if needed, to authorise me to contact their therapist or next of kin. In this respect, I draft an agreement stipulating the different roles and responsibilities so that we enter the combustion chamber with clarity of mind and purity of heart and then find ourselves being polished and burnished by the refiner’s fire.
The prices include full use of the house with the kitchen, the laundry facilities and a bespoke space in The Abbey for practicing an art form.
Retreat guests have their own room, either the Elm Tree Room or the Oak Tree Room. Bedlinen and towels are provided for the duration of the stay. The costs do not include food and beverages, transportation or additional services.
The cost for two weeks (minimum) is 2’500,00 kr.
The cost for three weeks is 3’600,00 kr.
The cost for a month is 4’500,00 kr.
Extra weeks then cost 1’000,00 kr. per week or 4’000,00 kr. per month.